At the beginning of the year, I decided that since the entire world feels like an absolute dumpster fire, I needed to find some creative outlets to counteract the incessant desire to doom scroll, for the sake of my mental health and my brain cells.
This reminds me of advice an established old school white lawyer gave me when I was interviewing for my first law job: You have to be someone one they want to eat lunch with, they have to see themselves in you. I was crushed and dispirited by that advice. I knew then that I would never get the dream job I wanted, they would never see themselves in me. Confident = smug, smart = arrogant, determined = angry. Never succeeded in that world.
The audacity of claiming Markle's show is more vacuous and hollow that any other lifestyle show is so transparently racist it's laughable. Like, I can't even imagine making that argument with a straight face: No no, seriously Joanna Gaines show really tackles the big issues regarding Tarte Tatin! Martha Stewart folds napkins in a way that will change your life! But Megan, no she's just a poser! Ridiculous.
And the critiques of Meghan were almost word-for-word the same criticisms Kamala Harris faced. Attacking her for having nice jewelry, using Le Creuset cookware, being "too prepared" and "not authentic," flaunting her "Californian lifestyle," etc.
“White women don't find Meghan Markle relatable because they don't see themselves in Meghan. They don’t relate to seeing Black women exist in spaces of luxury.” 🎯🎯
I think not just spaces of luxury, but spaces equal to theirs let alone better than theirs. I think many WW believe that they inherently are better and therefore deserve better.
The title of this piece alone made me want to yell out “Yes!!” but I’d wake up my partner. This is all extremely accurate and well written. Too bad the people that actually need to read it will avoid it like the plague.
They’ll bend over backwards to avoid admitting that the reason they don’t like seeing a black woman or biracial woman be successful and/or have married into royalty is because she’s black. Full stop. They get absolutely incensed when they see us living in nice areas with nice things.
If this show had been about Kate what’s her name, the comments would’ve been full of praise. It would have been the most popular show on Netflix for some time.
Absolutely. I strongly suspect you could lift every moment of Meghan’s show, have it recreated with a WW hosting, and it would be commended for being inspiring or something. It could be shot for shot the same show and wouldn’t get the same criticism; hell it probably would get little to none. But even if presented with the glaring evidence from such an experiment they’d quickly don their performative outrage at being called racist.
I actually loved watching “With Love, Meghan.” My life is not even remotely close to hers (other than having and being raised by my Black mother and having a not present white father), but I appreciated the aesthetics of the show. Furthermore, I’m totally into gardening, cooking from scratch, and I aspire to grow my own food, can, preserve, etc.
What I did find is a lot of her conversations felt phony. However, everything else captivated me. I’m looking forward to the 2nd season.
I appreciate you for your willingness to engage the ignorant unwelcome comment from the other person. You displayed more patience than I would’ve, lol. But, it was an important conversation. Thank you!
“They don't relate to Black women being princesses or having lives easier than they believe their own lives to be.”
I felt a pang of truth here. I’m white. This is true. I’m so sorry to admit this, but it’s true. We are not used to this.
I don’t understand the hate of Meghan at all, I think she’s wonderful, courageous and intelligent. But I see how she’s being hated because of the reasons you mentioned. Ugh, what a world. And that in 2025. Thank you for writing this.
Even in 2025, we have so much unlearning to do! White supremacy is reinforced daily. It's the air we breathe. We can only extrapolate ourselves from it through intentional, daily action. Thank you for reading!
I wandered into Meghan’s show one night, after frying my brain on the wretched news cycle. It was so relaxing. She’s so pretty. The flowers were so pretty. I needed beauty and petals and soothing voices. Everyone in the show is calm, or delighted with something. I dozed off but then came back to, and saw how she had this clever something something. I watched/napped 4 episodes in a row.
I don’t usually watch homemaking shows because the competition-style shows make me anxious, or the personalities are grating. Not so in Meghan’s garden. It’s fairy tale Santa Barbara ASMR and it calms the MAGA terror welling up inside me.
It is perfectly obvious to me why this show is smash hit. The fans do not read the critics— and the critics are a fever-green envy bubble, fit to burst. I wouldn’t have said a word about it, it’s such an innocent little soft pillow of entertainment— but as you say, the “rants” by Miss Annes Gone Wild are just TOO MUCH.
Well, I hadn't even heard of the show but now I want to watch it. Gods forbid white women learn to cook from a black woman. She might use.....seasonings!!!! 😨
Great work. As a white woman I’ve been privy to similar conversations where it’s very vague with regard to the criticism of Meghan. When I’ve very intentionally asked if they viewed her as uppity, they all said yes. When I’ve highlighted that this wildly problematic language with regard to black women, lord do I get a lot of defensiveness. I found her show lovely, and often put it on in the background as I worked 🤦🏼♀️
Yes, defensiveness because it's hard for people to face their own biases and internalized racism. It conflicts with their ability to view themselves as a "good" white person.
I sooo don't even follow this kind of news, I know little about the whole Harry/Meghan story beyond the basics.
The thing that gets to me is that nobody seems to mention, ever, that she's the only member of the Royal Family since, oh, medieval times to have risen to huge success entirely on her own.
It was news (really) in the early 80s that Diana was a commoner, at all, first in ages, or ever. But still from this super-rich connected family. A generation later, it was a big deal that Kate's family were not just commoners but actually *worked*, including a mom that had once been a stewardess. (Will's friends mocked that in particular.)
Markle got a good start with college, and that first interview, probably, from her Dad being the lighting guy on a soap opera, but that's it. She then went straight up in the most ruthlessly-competitive business in the world to something like $5M in earnings by age 30, a giant success in *any* business.
Nobody with Royal (or -adjacent, advantages) can show any accomplishment remotely close to that.
But the result, at least in Murdoch tabloids? Relentless criticism.
“In the year 2025, people’s racism isn’t because of lack of knowledge, it’s because of lack of care, and it’s time we stop making excuses for piss poor behavior.” Correct
I worry about this a LOT. Three of my grandchildren are biracial. My oldest grandson and his youngest sister have that absolutely gorgeous caramel colored skin that I wished for my entire life. The third child has the most beautiful head full of afro/white curls - dark with a hint of her mother's auburn, and smooth but tight - oh my are they tight; but she's otherwise as ghostly white as her Mom.
I fear for these kids down the road and how they will be perceived. My grandson already saw it this past baseball season when his coach (Asian) sat him on the bench for the entire season and made him, and only him, run bases during practice so the other kids could practice getting him out. The problem is that he's no better or worse than the kids who did play. He's just a different color.
Since he was the only boy on the team with any hint of not being white, I feel there was a level of prejudice mixed in. My daughter argued that 'not everything is about race.' I beg to differ and don't think her blindness will serve her kids well.
My grandson is a most beautiful young man, inside and out. He's 14 and has tons of friends of both races, as do the other two kids. They don't see black and white, which I love about them. They see people.
I can only hope that their generation does better than those before them. I love Megan and Harry. I love their story and I love what they do. Many people aren't aware of how charitable they have been and what they stand for and it's sad that her race has gotten in the way of it.
Thank you for sharing this. And not EVERYTHING is about race, but A LOT of it IS about race, most of it in fact. You are correct. And thank you for reading this article.
I know not everything is but as you said, a lot is. His treatment of my grandson was so different from every other kid that it was obvious he had some problem. To my grandsons credit, when his parents asked him if he wanted to quit the team and go back to his travel team early, he said no.
I enjoyed watching season 1. It wasn’t super deep or enlightening but it was fun and lifted my spirits during a rough time. Good for her for creating the show.
You’ve nailed what’s going on with that flavor of the Meghan hate. I give her a lot of credit for doing what she loves with dignity and grace in spite of the hate she gets, which is so strong that how can it not be racist? Plus that strength she showed in moving away from the RF. Lots of folks are really threatened by behavior that doesn’t capitulate.
I think there are actually several ways that M and H trigger folks. These come to mind now. Choosing to be authentic and walk away from dysfunction. Being the Black princess. Moving on and doing what you love rather than wallowing in victimhood.
There's one part of the H & M tale that I really loved that was probably the most triggering for folks. I'm sure you know it, but it's worth mentioning.
Tyler Perry had written her a note of support after learning of her father's shenanigans in conjunction with the wedding. He offered his help if she ever needed it.
So then H & M find themselves in Canada, with security pulled, in what we all learned was the attempt to control them back into the fold. But no. She contacts Tyler, who basically rescues them like the Fairy Godfather.
Resourcefulness. Boldness. Mental health. Loved it. Probably has driven so many people mad that no matter what she does, no matter how beautiful, thoughtful or creative the project, they will hate it because she wasn't supposed to have stood up to the RF.
I think that may be just as powerful a reason for the hatred. Folks just do not like it when women make those kinds of choices - a simple "no, that doesn't work for me. I prioritize my mental and physical well being" can make people go nuts.
Loved this. Personally, I’m a big Meghan stan and I’m so excited that she’s creating content again. I’m also a big HGTV/Martha fan and As Ever is very similar. Meghan’s content is much more accessible than Martha’s imho, she creates simple dishes that are particularly good for families with young children. When I was a young mom Martha made me feel less than as she never seemed warm, or to have experienced poverty, or any financial challenges.
Every time I speak to someone about Meghan and they say they “just don’t like her,” I feel like some toxic troll in the UK get their wings. Their hate campaigns are epic and nonsensical. And all of the stories about Meghan being horrible are mostly unsubstantiated. Stories of her being kind—and a little cheesy and nerdy—are pretty common.
I really feel for Meghan and Harry. If they speak, they get dumped on. If they don’t speak, the media starts going back into history to “imagine” new conflicts.
I like As Ever and find Meghan a really positive public figure. I’m glad she’s still creating shows and podcasts.
White women lap up TV shows with rich white people doing all kinds of shit they can only dream of, but Meghan making focaccia is unrelatable. Riiiight.
Pleased to see her show has been renewed. Suck on that, haters!
This reminds me of advice an established old school white lawyer gave me when I was interviewing for my first law job: You have to be someone one they want to eat lunch with, they have to see themselves in you. I was crushed and dispirited by that advice. I knew then that I would never get the dream job I wanted, they would never see themselves in me. Confident = smug, smart = arrogant, determined = angry. Never succeeded in that world.
The audacity of claiming Markle's show is more vacuous and hollow that any other lifestyle show is so transparently racist it's laughable. Like, I can't even imagine making that argument with a straight face: No no, seriously Joanna Gaines show really tackles the big issues regarding Tarte Tatin! Martha Stewart folds napkins in a way that will change your life! But Megan, no she's just a poser! Ridiculous.
OMG yes, all of this. Your first paragraph resonates so deeply with me. We see it in so many industries. It's so blaringly obvious.
This is medicine, thanks for sharing
Thank you so much for reading!
❤️❤️
You are so right I could scream.
Yes, thank you!
And the critiques of Meghan were almost word-for-word the same criticisms Kamala Harris faced. Attacking her for having nice jewelry, using Le Creuset cookware, being "too prepared" and "not authentic," flaunting her "Californian lifestyle," etc.
YES! This exactly!
Exactly.
“White women don't find Meghan Markle relatable because they don't see themselves in Meghan. They don’t relate to seeing Black women exist in spaces of luxury.” 🎯🎯
I think not just spaces of luxury, but spaces equal to theirs let alone better than theirs. I think many WW believe that they inherently are better and therefore deserve better.
yes...agreed!
A sad but unfortunate truth.
This white woman does 😅 But I get the generalization 100% I am not American though.
The title of this piece alone made me want to yell out “Yes!!” but I’d wake up my partner. This is all extremely accurate and well written. Too bad the people that actually need to read it will avoid it like the plague.
They’ll bend over backwards to avoid admitting that the reason they don’t like seeing a black woman or biracial woman be successful and/or have married into royalty is because she’s black. Full stop. They get absolutely incensed when they see us living in nice areas with nice things.
If this show had been about Kate what’s her name, the comments would’ve been full of praise. It would have been the most popular show on Netflix for some time.
Everything you said is spot on! And yes, the main people who need to read it will avoid it :/
Absolutely. I strongly suspect you could lift every moment of Meghan’s show, have it recreated with a WW hosting, and it would be commended for being inspiring or something. It could be shot for shot the same show and wouldn’t get the same criticism; hell it probably would get little to none. But even if presented with the glaring evidence from such an experiment they’d quickly don their performative outrage at being called racist.
This this this! You are spot on!
So true. Put Kate in with exactly the same script and it would be loved.
I actually loved watching “With Love, Meghan.” My life is not even remotely close to hers (other than having and being raised by my Black mother and having a not present white father), but I appreciated the aesthetics of the show. Furthermore, I’m totally into gardening, cooking from scratch, and I aspire to grow my own food, can, preserve, etc.
What I did find is a lot of her conversations felt phony. However, everything else captivated me. I’m looking forward to the 2nd season.
I appreciate you for your willingness to engage the ignorant unwelcome comment from the other person. You displayed more patience than I would’ve, lol. But, it was an important conversation. Thank you!
Thank you for reading! I also am looking forward to season 2!
“They don't relate to Black women being princesses or having lives easier than they believe their own lives to be.”
I felt a pang of truth here. I’m white. This is true. I’m so sorry to admit this, but it’s true. We are not used to this.
I don’t understand the hate of Meghan at all, I think she’s wonderful, courageous and intelligent. But I see how she’s being hated because of the reasons you mentioned. Ugh, what a world. And that in 2025. Thank you for writing this.
Even in 2025, we have so much unlearning to do! White supremacy is reinforced daily. It's the air we breathe. We can only extrapolate ourselves from it through intentional, daily action. Thank you for reading!
I wandered into Meghan’s show one night, after frying my brain on the wretched news cycle. It was so relaxing. She’s so pretty. The flowers were so pretty. I needed beauty and petals and soothing voices. Everyone in the show is calm, or delighted with something. I dozed off but then came back to, and saw how she had this clever something something. I watched/napped 4 episodes in a row.
I don’t usually watch homemaking shows because the competition-style shows make me anxious, or the personalities are grating. Not so in Meghan’s garden. It’s fairy tale Santa Barbara ASMR and it calms the MAGA terror welling up inside me.
It is perfectly obvious to me why this show is smash hit. The fans do not read the critics— and the critics are a fever-green envy bubble, fit to burst. I wouldn’t have said a word about it, it’s such an innocent little soft pillow of entertainment— but as you say, the “rants” by Miss Annes Gone Wild are just TOO MUCH.
All of this! It was a lighthearted, calming show. It's wild that the feedback has been so negative.
Well, I hadn't even heard of the show but now I want to watch it. Gods forbid white women learn to cook from a black woman. She might use.....seasonings!!!! 😨
I can’t lie….this comment made me cackle 😂😂😂
Great work. As a white woman I’ve been privy to similar conversations where it’s very vague with regard to the criticism of Meghan. When I’ve very intentionally asked if they viewed her as uppity, they all said yes. When I’ve highlighted that this wildly problematic language with regard to black women, lord do I get a lot of defensiveness. I found her show lovely, and often put it on in the background as I worked 🤦🏼♀️
Yes, defensiveness because it's hard for people to face their own biases and internalized racism. It conflicts with their ability to view themselves as a "good" white person.
I sooo don't even follow this kind of news, I know little about the whole Harry/Meghan story beyond the basics.
The thing that gets to me is that nobody seems to mention, ever, that she's the only member of the Royal Family since, oh, medieval times to have risen to huge success entirely on her own.
It was news (really) in the early 80s that Diana was a commoner, at all, first in ages, or ever. But still from this super-rich connected family. A generation later, it was a big deal that Kate's family were not just commoners but actually *worked*, including a mom that had once been a stewardess. (Will's friends mocked that in particular.)
Markle got a good start with college, and that first interview, probably, from her Dad being the lighting guy on a soap opera, but that's it. She then went straight up in the most ruthlessly-competitive business in the world to something like $5M in earnings by age 30, a giant success in *any* business.
Nobody with Royal (or -adjacent, advantages) can show any accomplishment remotely close to that.
But the result, at least in Murdoch tabloids? Relentless criticism.
It doesn't feel like a coincidence...
This is such an important point, and it's absolutely not a coincidence.
White women not seeing our own bias is so effing tired.
very exhausting...deep sigh.
“In the year 2025, people’s racism isn’t because of lack of knowledge, it’s because of lack of care, and it’s time we stop making excuses for piss poor behavior.” Correct
thank you for reading!
I worry about this a LOT. Three of my grandchildren are biracial. My oldest grandson and his youngest sister have that absolutely gorgeous caramel colored skin that I wished for my entire life. The third child has the most beautiful head full of afro/white curls - dark with a hint of her mother's auburn, and smooth but tight - oh my are they tight; but she's otherwise as ghostly white as her Mom.
I fear for these kids down the road and how they will be perceived. My grandson already saw it this past baseball season when his coach (Asian) sat him on the bench for the entire season and made him, and only him, run bases during practice so the other kids could practice getting him out. The problem is that he's no better or worse than the kids who did play. He's just a different color.
Since he was the only boy on the team with any hint of not being white, I feel there was a level of prejudice mixed in. My daughter argued that 'not everything is about race.' I beg to differ and don't think her blindness will serve her kids well.
My grandson is a most beautiful young man, inside and out. He's 14 and has tons of friends of both races, as do the other two kids. They don't see black and white, which I love about them. They see people.
I can only hope that their generation does better than those before them. I love Megan and Harry. I love their story and I love what they do. Many people aren't aware of how charitable they have been and what they stand for and it's sad that her race has gotten in the way of it.
Thank you for sharing this. And not EVERYTHING is about race, but A LOT of it IS about race, most of it in fact. You are correct. And thank you for reading this article.
I know not everything is but as you said, a lot is. His treatment of my grandson was so different from every other kid that it was obvious he had some problem. To my grandsons credit, when his parents asked him if he wanted to quit the team and go back to his travel team early, he said no.
I enjoyed watching season 1. It wasn’t super deep or enlightening but it was fun and lifted my spirits during a rough time. Good for her for creating the show.
You’ve nailed what’s going on with that flavor of the Meghan hate. I give her a lot of credit for doing what she loves with dignity and grace in spite of the hate she gets, which is so strong that how can it not be racist? Plus that strength she showed in moving away from the RF. Lots of folks are really threatened by behavior that doesn’t capitulate.
I think there are actually several ways that M and H trigger folks. These come to mind now. Choosing to be authentic and walk away from dysfunction. Being the Black princess. Moving on and doing what you love rather than wallowing in victimhood.
Thanks for your article.
yes yes yes...all of this! Thank you for reading!
There's one part of the H & M tale that I really loved that was probably the most triggering for folks. I'm sure you know it, but it's worth mentioning.
Tyler Perry had written her a note of support after learning of her father's shenanigans in conjunction with the wedding. He offered his help if she ever needed it.
So then H & M find themselves in Canada, with security pulled, in what we all learned was the attempt to control them back into the fold. But no. She contacts Tyler, who basically rescues them like the Fairy Godfather.
Resourcefulness. Boldness. Mental health. Loved it. Probably has driven so many people mad that no matter what she does, no matter how beautiful, thoughtful or creative the project, they will hate it because she wasn't supposed to have stood up to the RF.
I think that may be just as powerful a reason for the hatred. Folks just do not like it when women make those kinds of choices - a simple "no, that doesn't work for me. I prioritize my mental and physical well being" can make people go nuts.
Loved this. Personally, I’m a big Meghan stan and I’m so excited that she’s creating content again. I’m also a big HGTV/Martha fan and As Ever is very similar. Meghan’s content is much more accessible than Martha’s imho, she creates simple dishes that are particularly good for families with young children. When I was a young mom Martha made me feel less than as she never seemed warm, or to have experienced poverty, or any financial challenges.
Every time I speak to someone about Meghan and they say they “just don’t like her,” I feel like some toxic troll in the UK get their wings. Their hate campaigns are epic and nonsensical. And all of the stories about Meghan being horrible are mostly unsubstantiated. Stories of her being kind—and a little cheesy and nerdy—are pretty common.
I really feel for Meghan and Harry. If they speak, they get dumped on. If they don’t speak, the media starts going back into history to “imagine” new conflicts.
I like As Ever and find Meghan a really positive public figure. I’m glad she’s still creating shows and podcasts.
The woman literally can't win no matter what she does! It makes me so happy to see her living a joyous life and sharing it with others!!!
White women lap up TV shows with rich white people doing all kinds of shit they can only dream of, but Meghan making focaccia is unrelatable. Riiiight.
Pleased to see her show has been renewed. Suck on that, haters!
so happy her show has been renewed!