Bad body image days, doom scrolling, and the need for self compassion.

In totally absolute transparency, August has been an absolute bitch for me personally.  And I’m not totally surprised but at the same time, I am totally surprised. 

Here’s a confession: I’m an astrology hoe. And for all you non-believers, don’t judge me. But I’m not an astrology hoe in the sense that I can actually explain any of the things with you (except for maybe Mercury Retrograde), but in the sense that I meet with an astrologer every month (shoutout to Shadi) who gives me a monthly forecast based on my specific birth chart. And she most definitely told me that it was going to be a tough month for me, but as much as I’m an astrology hoe, I’m also delulu in every sense of the word so I didn’t actually think it would be that tough for me, even though she has literally never led me astray about anything.

So anyways, she was right, August is the bane of my existence right now. And it’s not like any one particular bad thing happened. It just feels like I’m trudging through mud. 

Everything feels sticky. And tough. And disjointed. And uncomfortable.

And for the record, I actually despise all of those feelings. 

In The Body Liberation Project, I talk about one of the misconceptions in the popular body positivity space – that our relationship with body image is a destination. That one day we arrive and we never ever experience body image issues again. It’s one of the greatest myths. It doesn’t exist and I have yet to meet a single person who can say that they have “arrived’. 

I hope you won’t be disappointed to hear this. But I also have bad body image days. They happen way less frequently than they used to and they last for a much shorter window, but my body image issues still rear their ugly head.

And August was the perfect storm. General uneasiness mixed with the never ending news cycle surrounding politics, genocides, and personal life stuff proved to be a bad combination for me.

But one of the biggest things I noticed is that I was spending entirely too much time doom scrolling. I was endlessly flipping between TikTok, IG, and Threads, looking for absolutely nothing in particular until my eyeballs literally felt dry and I felt completely drained and exhausted. And much as I could see what was happening, my little fingers kept finding their way back to the apps to torture myself some more. 

And the more time I was spending on social media, the more uneasiness I felt. The more I started feeling unhappy with my body. I felt myself picking myself apart. I started falling prey to the belief that my value and worth is based on my looks.

And of course, I know that’s not the truth. Of course I know I’m inherently worthy because I exist. Of course I know that my body is simply the vessel that is allowing me to have this human experience. But the endless stream of weight loss content fluttering across my stream made it increasingly difficult to remember that. 

To make matters worse, the stickier the feelings got, the harder I was on myself. The more I blamed myself for not showing up here like I should. For not showing up online enough. For not working on my next book enough. 

I’m not writing this so you feel bad for me. I’m writing this to let you know that we all struggle. And maybe you’re struggling. We can struggle together. And hold ourselves with compassion together too. 

I feel compelled to show up and share the messy with you as much as I feel compelled to show up and share the good stuff. 

So not even me, Chrissy King, who writes and speaks about body liberation for a living, can say that I never have challenging days with body image. Instead of disappointment, I hope you find comfort in this. It’s all part of our shared humanity. 

Our relationship with our bodies isn’t linear and it requires ongoing care. 

The reality is we can know all the things in our head, but it’s often harder to navigate these feelings when we are going through it. So I took to the tools that I encourage others to use and I put them to use them for myself. 

1. Took a social media break. 

I took a break from posting and I took a break from engaging with content. This is super hard for me because unless I physically remove the apps from my phone, my fingers somehow automatically open up the apps without any consent from me. It’s almost like breathing at this point. It’s just a bodily function (and yes, I realize this is terrible and I’m working on it)

2. Showed myself compassion. 

I really, really hate feeling down. My first inclination is to always figure out what I can do to ‘snap out of it.’ But I’m not convinced that sometimes you just, in fact, need to be okay with sitting with the sticky feelings. And sometimes, you just need to self-soothe through it. Beating myself has never worked so why not try love and compassion?

It’s also okay (and often necessary) to get reinforcements in this department. So I texted a close friend and asked if you had the capacity to hold space for me and instead of texting back, she called me immediately. Not only did she hold space for me, she reminded me of how often I remind her to show herself grace and compassion, and that those things apply to me. 

3. Wrote myself a gushing, exquisite love letter. 

Earlier this year, my book was featured on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book club. We had a wonderful conversation, which you can listen to HERE. 

In addition to being featured on her podcast, I was a guest on her Substack for her ‘Letters From Love Series’, which inspired this week’s love letter to myself. 

The question I asked myself was this: 

Dear Body: What would you have me know today?

And I wrote myself a deeply personal love letter leaning into the compassion, grace, kindness, and gentleness that I so desperately needed. I named my fears and my sadness and my grief. I let it all out in my journal, and I reassured myself (and my inner child) that no matter what, I will always show my body the love and care it deserves. 

4. Took time for myself.

I’m Sagitarrius with a Sag stellium. All this means is that I love saying yes to everything. I actually hate missing out on the possibility of adventure and fun. But as I felt myself teetering on the edge this month, I had to say no to a few things. I had to face my fear of disappointing people. I had to take more time to be with myself and my thoughts. I had to make space for my downtime, more quiet, more doing nothing. 

So now that I have bared my soul and deep inner thoughts with you, I offer an invitation to you. 

Maybe you too are having a hard day or month or year. Maybe you too are in need of a beautiful love letter. Maybe your body would like to hear from you. 

So I’m inviting you to take some time this week and pose the same question to yourself. 

Dear Body: What would you have me know today?

Finally, when all else fails, I just remind myself that at the end of the day, I’m just a girl on this floating rock called earth trying to do the best I can.